This post was approved by S.
S. came to us very apprehensive about facing her past. She knew God wanted her to get some help when a lady at church asked her how many children she had. That question triggered her fear, anxiety and depression because the only two children she will ever have were aborted 30+ years ago.
We talked before the group began so she could connect with me and decide if she could trust me as her facilitator. As the study progressed she experienced several breakthroughs and setbacks. There were two times I thought she wouldn't return. Strong pray warriors, you petitioned God and He intervened on her behalf giving her the strength and courage to face the next chapter's work and show up on zoom. There were several weeks she and I would chat about her concerns and pray together between group sessions.
The second to last chapter deals with the baby. When I was giving the homework instructions encouraging participants to write a letter to their baby assigning them a gender and a name, we could physically see her withdraw from the conversation. S. became quiet where previously she was reveling in God's goodness. Fear paralyzes! The disciples spent three years of intimate fellowship with Christ, yet, they ran when Jesus was being arrested
That zoom lasted 1.5 hours longer than normal as myself and my co-leader let the ladies work through their fear with many tears. We reminded them of the fear they already worked through, read scripture and prayed with them. Right now you know the end of the story; that they persevered. At the time, we didn't know if they'd return or not so once again we petitioned you for prayer.
What took place in S.'s life that week was so sweet. Before she began the chapter work on Saturday she called me so we could pray together. Sunday afternoon she called me to share the low valleys and high peaks she had gone through since Saturday. Apparently, as she was working through the study and before she reached the part where she would write her letter, God was blessing her with His word and she was encouraged to write her letters. Then several distractions came her way and she had to put the study down. Later that evening a dread of writing her letters came over her, spiraling her into a depression that kept her from church in the morning and in bed most of Sunday. She counseled herself that her children receive dignity and humanity by receiving a name, which she (their mom) can give them. What happened in that moment was powerful. She came off her bed deciding to walk in the newness of life. She brought her children out of the shadows and into the light, in the process, death lost its grip on her. Her children now have personhood. To God be all the glory.
S. and I were talking on the phone the other day and discussing what God wants for her to do. She loves children so I suggested working in the children's ministry. She said, "I can't, it's too hard...." Then she stopped herself and said, "Yes, I do love working with kids, I'd love to do that." The switch from one to the other was incredible. She has definitely received deep healing.