Thankfully, I had experienced a great deal of healing prior to taking the plunge into this study once again. To be perfectly honest, I went into this group with the mindset of a student and spectator hoping to glean some wisdom in order to help others. In short, I did not expect to get much out of this. I was also lukewarm on the idea of bearing my soul to a bunch of strangers on a screen.
In short, I wasn't quite sure what to expect in a "virtual" experience. I also didn't know what to think of our co leader who was not post abortive? I thought to myself, " What is her deal? How could she possibly understand my perspective? "
In the first 15 minutes of the first session all my questions and walls seemed to strangely fade as I was welcomed into one of the most stark examples of God's love and grace in action. I felt that I was accepted and loved not just by the amazing group of ladies in my cohort, but by the leaders themselves.
The study itself was challenging, compelling us to take a hard look at our abortion experience through God's eyes vs our own shame and guilt that had kept us in bondage for so many years. The level of engagement is high and after a while the fact that we were online didn't seem relevant as I was walking with family.
I learned that tears have a way of bringing clarity and perspective, that God had yet another layer to peel off. The leaders were some of the most loving and compassionate women obedient to their calling to minister to the broken hearted. It was then that all of a sudden, my reservations about the co-leader who was not post abortive like me were gone.
She was in fact loving, warm, compassionate, knowledgeable and insightful. Her brokenness may not have been my brokenness but God showered us with His grace just the same. She modeled what the compassion of the church should look like and I am grateful.